Before the rupture
Friday, March 20th 2015 was just another day, except it wasn’t. It was the last day of spring break and we had just returned from a family vacation to Rockport, TX. I was leery of going as the last time the kids and I were there it was to spread their dads ashes. The time before that, in 2008, was the last holiday we would all have together. It was our family get-a-way spot, and we always went in March. He passed four days after that trip. So when I got another migraine while we were there, I chalked it up to the stress of the situation and my location and took my migraine pill and got on with it. We came home on Wednesday night and my sweet hubby made me go to bed and rest. I did and felt better the next day.
Two days later was a normal day. We went to the hardware store and to our business to meet a client. I felt fine. While I was chatting with the client, I literally turned and everything went fuzzy, then black. Apparently, I said, “Oh my God, my head”, and down I went. I don’t remember anything else until I heard my husband’s, calm voice. The paramedics asked me if I could get up and I thought, “there’s no way”! I remember feeling sicker than I have ever felt in my entire life, I was vomiting a lot, and I remember thinking my head was going to explode.
The rupture
Vaguely I remember an ambulance ride to our local hospital. I’m told they immediately did a CT and found that I had a a ruptured aneurysm (a hemorrhagic stroke). I vaguely remember the doctor telling me we were going to the Medical Center, but in the slide show (it’s not a movie – that would require lengthy footage and there isn’t any) that consistently replays in my mind I specifically remember looking up and seeing one of my best friends face through the window and knowing her as I do, thinking to myself – “this isn’t good”. I don’t remember the ambulance ride to the Med. Center.
I do remember my kids arriving by my bedside. First the younger two and then the eldest. I think. I tried to remain calm and reassure them that I would be fine and I think I looked okay enough that they believed me. Who knows? That whole time is a complete and utter blur.
They scheduled me for Coiling surgery the next morning. You can read more about exactly what that is in the link provided. I kissed John goodbye and remember the look of worry on his face and my parents faces.
My neuroradiologist and his team came through for me, and our family. My brain wasn’t draining properly during recovery which was three weeks in Neuro ICU in the Methodist Hospital, so they did have to drill a hole in my head and shave a portion of my hair, but I managed to escape the permanent shunt – so I lost some hair…but one of my lovely nurses bought me a scarf before my son came to visit so as not to freak him out.
What Caused This?
We have no idea what caused this aneurysm. I don’t smoke, or use drugs and as far as I’m aware, there’s no family history. I probably have had it for a while. And I’m certain that stress is what finally caused the rupture. My 40’s dealt with cancer, being a caregiver myself, death of a spouse, being a single mom, dealing with a child going off to college, a new marriage, starting a new business working 7 days a week, yada-yada-yada. For years prior to my rupture, I went to my doctor for headaches only to be put on another antibiotic for a sinus infection or told it was hormonal or allergies. Never was I referred to a neurologist or was it suggested I get a CT scan. I would ignore those thunderclap headaches and the vomiting with migraines. I should’ve known better. Now I know it was a leaking aneurysm that must have kept closing itself up, only to finally burst open.
Follow-up
I’ve since had a Pipeline stent put in. That was April 20th of 2017, exactly two years to the day after my rupture. The coils had receded a bit and the Dr. thought it best. This time I only had to stay one night in the hospital. And this time I do remember it. I remember the pain after and the terrifying thoughts. The “what if he sneezes while he’s in there” question. It’s a real concern! The confusion from the after effects of brain surgery. The terrible headaches that lasted for weeks. But all that passes and eventually we get through it, and it was worth it because a year later, my angiogram showed that the aneurysm was gone!
All I’m left with now are the few unseen deficits. The memory loss, the diminished eye sight and lack of depth perception, the noise flooding, balance issues – I’ll take them all. Because I know I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m one of the few. I beat the odds. I believe that there is a reason I was spared and that reason is to spread awareness and help support those looking for it. To not ignore those thunderclap headaches. Not to let the stress get to the point that it literally will kill you. Don’t ignore the migraines either (I know there is debate over that, but I’m of the opinion that it is relevant).
I’m grateful to be alive, and excited to share this site with you. I hope it brings you some answers or reassurance that you are not alone.
xoxo
Should I Get Screened for a Brain Aneurysm?